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 2019-12-09 17:30 

Jezebel

Our Favorite Jezebel Posts of 2019...

Every year feels longer than the last—a necessary side effect of age, or simply the slow, unstoppable march of time speeding up as we hurtle towards the end of life. There will be more beautiful blogs in 2020, but now is the time for reflection. Her...

 2019-12-09 15:35 

Jezebel

Beyonc Wants Everyone to 'Get Off My Ovaries!'...

Did anyone see that briefest flash of light over the weekend, when the heavens parted and Beyonc, her forty-seven publicists, husband, and kids all descended from their Bel-Air palace? At first I thought the rapture had finally come, like my gram always s...

 2019-12-09 15:15 

Jezebel

Astrology, Marriage, and Men: Which 2019 Concepts Should Be Canceled?...

Welcome back to Jezebel's Cancel Tournament 2019! It's time to cancel more shit. But first, last week, you voted to delete a number of lifestyle trends....

 2019-12-09 14:45 

Jezebel

Lizzo's Thong Dress Is Both Fine and an Unhygienic Nightmare...

On Sunday night, while watching the Los Angeles Lakers play the Minnesota Timberwolves at the Staples Center in LA, Lizzo went full Lizzo: she wore a black t-shirt dress with the buttocks removed to reveal her bare cheeks, a black thong, and black fishnet...

 2019-12-09 03:45 

Jezebel

I Bet the $120K Banana Didn't Even Taste Good...

Having already ignited the ire of Food Internet by calling attention to my deep hatred for milk, I feel compelled, for some reason, to stoke the fires again by declaring yet another unpopular opinion: the only good banana is a slightly underripe banana. B...

 2019-12-09 01:30 

Jezebel

Miley Cyrus Got a 'Freedom' Tattoo, For Some Reason I Can't Possibly Determine...

Miley Cyrus, who recently went through some relationship changes, went to a Beverly Hills tattoo shop over got the word "Freedom" inked across her knuckles. Huh. Wonder if that's connected to anything?...

 2019-12-08 19:47 

Jezebel

Caroll Spinney, Puppeteer of the 'Two Best Muppets', Died at 85...

Caroll Spinney, the puppeteer best known for Sesame Street's Big Bird and Oscar the Grouch, died at his home in Connecticut on Sunday. Spinney was 85....

 2019-12-08 17:57 

Jezebel

Juice Wrld Died After Suffering Apparent Seizure at Chicago Midway...

Twenty-one-year-old rapper Juice Wrld is dead after suffering an apparent seizure while walking through Chicago Midway airport, according to TMZ. Jarad Anthony Higgins (Juice Wrld's birth name) was walking through the airport after landing in Chicago ...

 2019-12-07 22:15 

Jezebel

Saturday Night Social: Remembering Those Wronged by Executive Order 9066...

Today is a great day to remember accurate history of our country. Seventy-eight years ago, an attack on the naval base in Pearl Harbor, Hawaii, left thousands and thousands of Americans dead....

 2019-12-07 18:19 

Jezebel

Prince Andrew Had to Drive to His Father's House to Get a Royal Ass Whooping...

Prince Andrew's presence was required at Sandringham Estate, where his daddy Prince Philip is staying, for what I can only assume was a royal ass whopping (a.k.a. an incredibly stern talking to) before Monday night's interview with Virginia Giuffr...

 2019-12-07 17:09 

Jezebel

R. Kelly's Other Live-In Girlfriend Azriel Clary Got Her Own Place...

Disgraced and legally embattled singer R. Kelly's other live-in girlfriend, Azriel Clary, has moved out of the condo in Trump Tower in Chicago. TMZ reported that Clary is trying to separate herself from the drama surrounding Joycelyn Savage....

 2019-12-06 23:00 

Jezebel

Your Greatest Holiday Party Faux Pas...

Some Pissing Contest themes are tried and true. That becomes especially apparent during the month of December, when this column becomes pretty festive: expect nothing but holiday-related content for the remainder of 2019, ya Grinches. Kicking things off, ...

 2019-12-06 22:16 

Jezebel

I'm a Truck Guy Now...

I have a problem, which is that I have recently become a truck guy. This was not really a logical extension of any choice I've made up to this point in my life: I live in a large metropolitan area with a vast, if criminally mismanaged, public transit ...

 2019-12-06 20:30 

Jezebel

I Want the Pink Christmas Tree...

I regret to inform you that I have been seduced by the siren call of the seasonal trend, and I want a pink Christmas tree....

 2019-12-06 19:20 

Jezebel

Uber Says Thousands of Reported Sexual Assaults 'Reflects the World in Which We Operate'...

On Thursday, Uber released a study revealing it received reports of 3,045 sexual assaults during its rides last year in the United States. This four-digit figure feels like a nationwide four-alarm fire, especially against the backdrop of a lawsuit filed y...

 2019-12-06 18:00 

Jezebel

Keto, Vapes, and New Milks: It's Time to Cancel Some Lifestyle Trends...

Thursday marked Day Two of Jezebel's Cancel Tournament: the Politics division—perhaps the most challenging of all the categories to cancel because truly all of these things deserve to go. Today, we're canceling a few lifestyle trends. But fi...

 2019-12-06 15:20 

Jezebel

Kim Kardashian Decorates Home With Large, White Christmas Dildos...

Noted Christmas person Kim Kardashian West has once again elevated the art form of being extremely rich and extremely weird, just in time for her favorite holiday! This year, her home has been overrun by large, oblong sculptures Kim refers to on Instagram...

 2019-12-06 14:30 

Jezebel

It's Not About You, Peloton Husband...

Here is how long we see the actor Sean Hunter in the viral Peloton ad that everyone hates: approximately four seconds. I counted. But for some reason that didn't stop him from speaking out how what it feels like to be labeled "a symbol of the patr...

 2019-12-06 14:00 

Jezebel

Five Men Set a Woman on Fire as She Traveled to Court For Her Rape Case...

A 23-year-old woman in northern India was set on fire by five men as she traveled to a court hearing on her rape case. Two of the men arrested for setting her on fire are also men accused of raping her. The woman was eventually airlifted to a hospital in ...

 2019-12-06 04:30 

Jezebel

Joycelyn Savage Says an Imposter Actually Published Patreon and Instagram Posts Accusing R. Kelly of Abuse...

In a video statement to TMZ, Joycelyn Savage denied that she was the author of Instagram and Patreon accounts accusing R. Kelly of sexual and psychological abuse. In the video, Savage says she's "truly tired" of the accusations against her ...

 2019-12-06 03:25 

Jezebel

This Is Most Definitely the Way to Prevent Cyberbullying on Your App...

TikTok has finally found a way to prevent cyberbullying experienced by marginalized people online: Just don't let people see their videos in the first place!...

 2019-12-06 02:13 

Jezebel

Indictment Accuses R. Kelly of Marrying Aaliyah By Bribing Official for Fake ID...

A new indictment accuses disgraced singer R. Kelly of using a bribe to get the paperwork needed to marry the late singer Aaliyah when she was 15 and he was 27, according to a report on Thursday by The New York Times. This is on top of the 13-count indictm...

 2019-12-06 01:14 

Jezebel

Caitlyn Jenner Banned Mention of O.J. Simpson in the Kardashian House After the Trial...

Caitlyn Jenner demanded that her girls never mention O.J. Simpson — after he was acquitted of the murders of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman — in their house ever again. The trial was "a joke," Jenner said on a recent episode of t...

 2019-12-05 22:25 

Jezebel

Startups Are Too Often Pretty on the Outside, Shitty on the Inside...

A decade ago, startup culture seemed like the great savior of the American workplace. Far from the florescent-hued prisons of workplace dystopia-themed movies like Office Space or Fight Clubs, many tech startups emphasized the importance of fun with ameni...

 2019-12-05 21:50 

Jezebel

More Women Sue Lyft, Alleging the Company Ignored Their Sexual Assault Complaints...

Nineteen women are suing Lyft, saying the company failed to prevent sexual assault by its drivers and then ignored complaints from victims. According to The New York Times Lyft also failed to employ necessary safety measures that could have prevented sexu...

 2019-12-05 20:30 

Jezebel

Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello's Ship Name Is Shamila, But It Should Be Scamila...

This year has brought forth no shortage of surprising celebrity relationships. No one was banking on Miley Cyrus partnering with Kaitlynn Carter after their divorces, and even fewer saw Cyrus's relationship with Cody Simpson coming (most likely becaus...

 2019-12-05 18:30 

Jezebel

Jinkx Monsoon and BenDeLaCreme's Gift Guide for the Stars...

The winter holidays are upon us, which means it's time to go broke buying consumerist trash that nobody really needs to prove that you love your friends and family. Chances are you'll procrastinate getting gifts for your loved ones until the day b...

 2019-12-05 17:50 

Jezebel

Former Playboy Model Embroiled in Trump Scandal Sues Fox...

Karen McDougal, the model whose story of an affair with Donald Trump was "caught and killed" during the 2016 election by the National Enquirer, is now suing Fox News for defamation after host Tucker Carlson claimed she was blackmailing the preside...

 2019-12-05 17:00 

Jezebel

Let's Cancel Some Powerful Political Figures...

Welcome to Day Two of Jezebel's Cancel Tournament 2019. "Cancel culture" itself might be a divisive term, but you guys sure have lots of opinions on what must go....

 2019-12-05 16:00 

Jezebel

National Enquirer Reporters Were So Good at Journalism They Ruined News...

Throughout the 1980s and '90s, the National Enquirer graced nearly every grocery store checkout line in America, its lurid headlines just as innocuous a part of the shopping experience as Juicy Fruit gum or a pack of Skittles. In those days, the magaz...

 2019-12-05 15:30 

Jezebel

Pantone's Color of the Year for 2020 Is Boring as Hell!...

Every year, Pantone picks a color the company believes will become unavoidable everywhere the following year. In 2019, they suggested coral would make its way into popular culture (I'm not so sure it did), and in 2018, everything was ultra violet (It ...

 2019-12-05 15:00 

Jezebel

Everyone, Let's Circle Around Justin Timberlake Again and Keep Pointing Our Fingers at Him...

Despite rumors of multiple affairs that have dogged his marriage since the early 2000s, and publicly holding the hand of his co-star Alisha Wainwright while filming Palmer in New Orleans, Justin Timberlake is actually super sorry! This man is sorry to his...

 2019-12-05 03:04 

Jezebel

Lorgia Garca Pea Rules, Harvard University Drools...

My knowledge of Harvard University begins and ends with Rory Gilmore who, SPOILER ALERT, ends up going to Yale. My lack of in depth knowledge notwithstanding, what I gleaned from Ms. Gilmore is that Harvard is, as it turns out, is a Very Important Place w...

 2019-12-05 02:00 

Jezebel

Jason Derulo Will Not Allow His Dick to be Censored!...

If you are a person who exists on the internet, chances are at some point in the last couple of weeks you've come across a picture of Jason Derulo, on vacation in Bali, parading his dick print all over Instagram. Was this an obvious ploy to distract u...

 2019-12-04 22:05 

Jezebel

The NFL Is So Sexist That a Top Coach Had to Pose As an Assistant to Get an Interview...

Nine years ago, Dr. Jen Welter became the first woman to coach in the NFL, where she was apparently able to ruin sports for men by making them better. After entering the sacred male space that is training camp with all of her estrogen and evil feminine en...

 2019-12-04 20:45 

Jezebel

Let's Stop Congratulating Men About Taking Paternity Leave...

These days, men are just as likely as women to claim that they need family leave, and many even want to equally split domestic caregiving, according to a new report. This sounds promising, like leaps and bounds of progress. Let us all rejoice!...

 2019-12-04 16:00 

Jezebel

Welcome to Jezebel's Cancel Tournament 2019...

No phrase has sparked more anger and confusion in 2019 than "cancel culture." Such that the concept itself has become meaningless. Like the Bogeyman or marriage as an institution, cancel culture is a force both real and not real. Invisible, scary,...

 2019-12-04 15:00 

Jezebel

Willie Nelson Quits Smoking Weed the Same Day Hell Freezes Over...

It's the end of an era in the United States of America. As a mournful sky slowly gathers above New York City, and snow begins to blanket everything around us, please lower all flags to half mast. Then, gather all your friends and loved ones and light ...

 2019-12-04 14:30 

Jezebel

'It's Like a Cult': How a Hyped New York Art Gallery Built Its Name on Exploitation...

The team at Superchief Gallery was working late into the night building a giant, bloody severed penis. The art gallery's edgy sensibility had always generated hype, but over the preceding few years, its hard-partying brand had spread its wings, as it ...

 2019-12-04 02:05 

Jezebel

NYC Ballet Casts Its First Black Dancer to Play the Lead in The Nutcracker...

At last, the New York City Ballet has cast a black dancer to play the lead role in their holiday production of The Nutcracker. In fact, it sounds like the show will be a lot more diverse than it has been in previous years, which, considering ballet's ...

 2019-12-04 00:55 

Jezebel

This Is a Pretty Good Use of a Cease and Desist, Actually...

I once went to a spin class so difficult I threw up in a trashcan outside the studio immediately after stretching, then renounced indoor cycling altogether. It's with that memory firmly burned in my brain that I am reluctant to criticize Amy Schumer f...

 2019-12-03 22:00 

Jezebel

The Lost Sweet Valley High Theme Song You Never Knew Existed...

For years, I have had a Sweet Valley High theme song lodged in my brain—not the song from the television show, but one I learned as a child, from a cassette whose provenance I could not recall. Because I had no recollection of where it came from, it...

 2019-12-03 19:00 

Jezebel

Pour One Out for the Man Who Changed Luxury Showering As We Know It...

You may not know the name Bernhard Mayer-Klenk, inventor and founder of a German company called Kemitron GmbH, but if you are an acolyte of luxury showering, you owe him your entire existence. Mayer-Klenk, who died in November at the age of 78, was the ge...

 2019-12-03 18:30 

Jezebel

What the Hell Is Olivia Wilde Talking About?...

It's a very, very old and tired Hollywood cliche: The plucky, career obsessed woman using everything—and I do mean everything—at her disposal to get ahead. The latest addition to this dubious canon is Olivia Wild's character in the new...

 2019-12-03 18:00 

Jezebel

The Engrossing Illusion of 'What I Spend in a Week' YouTube Videos...

Most YouTube trends—with the exception of the dreaded "Letting The Person In Front of Me Decide What I Eat" drive-thru challenge from earlier this year—have a short shelf life. They emerge only to fill a brief content drought, and not ...

 2019-12-03 17:30 

Jezebel

Elf on the Shelf is Preparing Children For a Dystopian Future...

He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake, is somehow a perfectly acceptable line in a children's song about Santa. It also perfectly describes the nightmarish surveillance scam that is 'The Elf on The Shelf.' Since ...

 2019-12-03 16:30 

Jezebel

Megan Rapinoe Officially Best Soccer Player on Earth...

In 1956 France Football magazine introduced the world to the Ballon d'Or, a prestigious golden ball given every year to the best soccer players on earth. Or more accurately, it's an award given to Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo on a seemingly ...

 2019-12-03 15:30 

Jezebel

Whatever, Drake Wasn't That Into Her Anyway, Okay?...

Good morning, as the world continues to grind itself into dust, at least celebrities can still perform downright operatic choreographies of love and rejection in the space of a week. The way I understand itand I have no doubt you, dear commenter, will tel...

 2019-12-03 14:47 

Jezebel

No One Stunts Like a Diva...

I, like most regular folk, have an aversion to feathers. Party City boas at a kid's birthday bash aside, I can count the number of times I've worn bird fluff on one hand, because that number is zero. After seeing Jennifer Lopez's red carpet lo...

 2019-12-03 03:47 

Jezebel

Virginia Giuffre Is Fighting Back...

Virginia Roberts Giuffre's interview with the BBC in which she, again, details her allegations against Prince Andrew was taped before Andrew's interview aired last month. And yet, Giuffre's straightforward interview seems be in direct response...

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